YOU'RE SO MONEY BABY, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!

::movie:: SWINGERS
::music:: SOUP ~ BLIND MELON (the song not the album)

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I had a run in with the methadone/Velvet Underground whooores? No?...well here goes,I was walkin' back to Murphs one night after hangin' out at 30 Second Records when I noticed one angry trucker dude and these two crack whooooores walkin my way. My first instinct was to avoid them all together by ducking into an alley. But i figured they may be heading to the alley for a quick fix, so i decided to quicken my pace and try to get ahead them before they met me at the intersection. My sudden increase in speed only attracted their cold, dead eyes and one of the chicks ran towards me, no doubt to bite me or stab me with a syringe. So at this point I'm half considering pulling a Mel Gibson roundhouse from Lethal Weapon when I feel her hand on my ass. Now, I'm like what the fuck and her pimp/boyfriend, who already was angry as fuck, was like, "come here asshole!" I respond with, "yeah, just a sec, I gotta run home first. Be right back" Then before he can punch me for my saucy banter, the whore who grabbed my ass is like, " I just touched Constantine's ASSSS!...YES!" Her boyfriend is suddenly destracted by a squirrel and I somehow am able to control my laughter long enough to make an escape.

::THE TALE YOU WERE JUST PRIVY TO, WAS NOT A WORK OF FICTION, BUT A TRUE STORY. SEVERAL ANIMALS WERE HURT DURING THE TELLING OF THIS TALE...BUT NOT BY ME::

I went to see B.A. Johnston at Baba's on Thurs. Good show, but very similar to his Shoreline set...actually almost identical, yet still a riot. I ended up picking up "SITUATION BAD" and "MY HEART IS A BLINKING NINTENDO" along with a pin for $15. I totally forgot to get dressed up in my Three piece, but it will make an appearance sooner or later.

I went to see Wedding Crashers tonight with my Aunt. About half-way through the movie the power went out, and I ended up waiting for close to an hour to get my fucking moneyback/coupon thingy. So in a futile effort to regain the lost hour of my life i skipped into a second lineup for movie passes and got another coupon for a free movie. In the end I saw half a movie, and got two free movie passes to a movie I never even paid to see in the first place...sweetness. I get emense pleasure from shafting corporations, no matter how insignificant the act may be. It always puts a bounce in my step and a smile upon my face.

PURCHASES OF LATE:
*PROJECT GOTHAM RACING 2
*NICO ~ Blind Melon
*Blind Melon ~ Blind Melon
*EYES WIDE SHUT (VHS for $3.98)

"Old Nintendos blink, especially when you want to play a hot game like Marble Madness or Tecmo Bowl. It's like something great is right there and you can't get to play it. I guess my heart is like that because it never gets to play Legend Of Zelda or Excite Bike, and it feels gypped. The happy B.A. is just a shell. Inside, I am a bitter boiling ball of sad rage, kind of like an M&M. Outside, a hard happy candy shell, inside, bitter chocolate." ~B.A. Johnston

I'm out like Woolly-Whats-It...