A Mother Fucking Shark Ate Me!

::movie:: The Longest Yard (original)
::music:: Afraid Not Scared ~ Ryan Adams

Salutations. Its 2 in the AM and I have to wake up in 4 hours so i'll make this quick and kick it off with another edition of "COMMERCIALS I HATE"

Has anyone seen the new Wendy's commerical about salads?** It involves the typical office types sitting around a staffroom table "disscussing" the quality of their salads with annoying little sound bytes. Then there's this one chick with a Wendy's salad who is like shitting her pants over how good it is. I die a little bit inside everytime I watch this mercial. So in a futile effort to redeem the lost seconds of my life I yell at the TV, "Get back to the watercooler and discuss your new Jettas and Pilates you mindless drones." Then I feel all big and mighty and go back to beating up 10 year olds.

**May not be Wendys'

My new favourite commercial is by Ford, with the dude freestylin' the lights in the showroom to EYE OF THE TIGER. After this commercial I put on my ripped jeans, a tight black Tee with a cigarette pack rolled up in one sleeve and kick it to Mother by Danzig. I assume you all have the same reaction.

I visited my grandparents today and found some recent pics, and since I'm in love with myself, i'm posting the ones of me looking sharp, so "Enjoy bitches, its a celebration!"[i have nothing original:( ]






I managed to score some Stones tickets. Truthfully I'm more pumped about seeing the Hip. And even more excited about assassinating Maroon 5. Quite the bargin at $116.25 if you ask me. I also picked up my Shoreline Tix. It'll probably be the highlight of my summer. Last year was unreal, I got drenched 2 days in a row, played some aggressive frisbee with Matt, and have little to no recollection of seeing more than three acts. This year I think I'll stick to stalking the chick from METRIC.

Last Friday Amber and party'd it up at Ragin' Murphy's. We watched some bad french porn, some Jeopardy, and some Behind the Music Billy Idol style. As well as some Chappelle..."Unity Bitches." We also ran into my grandfather at the mall who informed us he was heading home to "shoot up." Since he is a diabetic this comment didn't phase me, however Amber was not privy to this and was a little taken back. We ended up getting smashed playing a psyhic card game and spilt about four drinks on the already shady carpet. Once by flipping his retarded couch in the middle of reminiscing about "Timelines." Anyway, it made for a wicked eve.

This past saturday I went to a little shindig in honor of my pal Nick. A bunch of us got whacked and watched some more Chappelle. I ended up spending about 10 bucks on 3 Skor Drumstick thingys' which are pretty much sex in ice cream form. Around 12:30 I moseyed up to Murphs just in time to pass out during conversations about Portia De Rossi.hmmmm...

I'm back playing soccer again. We've won our first 3 games already. I scored twice during our last game against Dooley's. If you watch Entertainment Tonight this week you'll see a segment on Victoria Beckham getting divorced and marrying me.

THINGS TO BUY:
White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan (New!) GOT IT!
Coldplay (New!) GOT IT!
Joel Plaskett (New!)