Wooly Whats It stole my virginity
Teddy Ruxpin's fall from grace was a tragic story of sex, drugs, and poorly thought-out investments in third world automobile companies. In the end, he was nothing but a fat, bloated mockery of his former greatness, begging for the release death would bring.

What a role model. I still have my Teddy Ruxpin bear somewhere, you could put a tape in his back and he would talk, moving his eyes and mouth. I thought that his mouth moved rather slowly so I tried to aid him by moving it for him. This unfortunetly resulted in his jaw falling off, and the destruction of my happy childhood. (wipes away tear)

If you are a first time reader or FTR of the site, I have weekly tributes to the unappreciated heros. Starting from the first, we've inducted:

Balki (from perfect strangers)
Adam West
Al Bundy
Optimus Prime
Pauly Shore.

Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illonois, which is a suburb of Chicago -- excellent. I've had plenty of joe-jobs, nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. OK, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is bogus and sad. However I do have a cable access show -- and I still know how to party. But what I'd really like is to do "Wayne's World" for a living. It might happen, yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.