Its ok I wouldn't remember me either

So, I'm pretty sure I saw Ashley last night with adam again. What a fuckin' hoe. She and nick have been going on dates for the past 2 weeks now, and yet shes probably fooling around with a guy who cheated on her twice OVER A YEAR AGO! I'm his best friend and I don't have a clue how to tell him. The sad thing is he's happy again, and I don't want to be the person to take away that happiness, I know what that feels like to lose that feeling. It annoys the hell out of me that she is doing the same thing to nick that she did to me last winter. What a fucking whore! I just hope he doesn't stay around as long as I did. He'd be dumb if he does.

People are so retarded when it comes to relationships. I'm surprised anyone hooks up at all. In a perfect word there would be no stress, no worries, and no pain. People would just tell eachother how they feel, and if they were turned down at least they would know.

The thing that sucks about reality is that no one takes chances anymore. And when you do, you are usually shat upon. If not you eventually do get hurt and build a wall around yourself to block out everyone and everything, everything except the pain. You begin to live off the pain because it is the only thing that makes sense, it begins to feel good, and its the only thing that is constant in your life. But it only lasts until someone so perfect and special comes along, before it happens again. It's a vicious cycle which I am forced to endure. I must have been fucking Hitler in another life.

It seems like the only time people do hook up is at bars for one night stands. We're becoming the generation of meaningless sex. I'd rather suffer the pain of lost love for eternity than to give myself away meaninglessly to a stranger one night at a time. This is all because of how superficial our society makes us. We're too obsessed with physical beauty that we never truly get to know one another. I hate that people judge me without getting to know me. And what I hate even more is knowing I've done the same to others. Never judge what you don't understand. Thats the end of my rant, I've just realized how much of a hypocrite I've become.

I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.